After the Light
by moonbabytsukiko
Summary: She's dead inside, no one left, or is there?
1. Chapter 1

After the Light Chapter One: The Graveyard

By Tsukiko

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, regretfully, nor do I own "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. I borrowed the names Daniel and Tsukiko from my friend, Shadow Keyblade. I only own my creativity and imagination.

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Soft snow fell from the gray sky, the colossal church-tower clouds emitting powder like prayers. The flakes stuck to my raven hair, melting where my hands clutched my cheeks. The stream of melted snow echoed the tears running down my face from my auburn eyes. _Like an expensive chocolate_, she used to say. I quietly sang to myself:

_I never said I'd lie and wait forever_

_ If I died we'd be together_

_ I can't always just forget her_

_ But she could try…_

"Riza, my dear friend….I was so foolish…" I mumbled, curling tighter on the mound of dirt of the grave. After more long, tense minutes I sighed and slowly sat up. Touching the engraved words of the tombstone, I whispered, "Please forgive me…" and continued to sing faintly:

_At __the__ end of __the__ world _

_ Or __the__ last thing I see_

_ You are _

_ Never coming home_

_ Never coming home…_

Suddenly rustling and crackling came from the forest, with a few curses every so often. I quickly came out of my shock-induced trance and spun around just as a boy came barreling out, tripping over a branch. A mumbled stream of curses followed him as another boy, golden-haired, golden-eyed and wearing a long red coat came into the graveyard.

"Faster route my ass. 'Oh, we'll be there in a jiffy, I promise!'" he mocked. "'Ed, please…it's Riza's birthday and you should pay your respects.' Ugh, I always fall for the sappy stuff from you, Al." The golden-haired boy, who's name I guessed was Ed from what he said, mumbled on. Following him was another person in a suit of armor.

"Now big brother, you know how special 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye was to Roy…Oh! I didn't see you there! I'm sorry…" the group turned to see me in my red-eyed, puffy-cheeked glory.

"Oh, um, th-that's fine You were friends of Riza's as well?" I stammered, turning once again to the grave. The song continued to echo in my head:

_And all __the__ things that you never ever told me_

_ And all __the__ smiles that are ever gonna haunt me…_

"In a way-" started the boy in armor.

"Nope, hardly knew the girl. But…I suppose you could say that we're 'acquaintances' of Mustang's." Ed interrupted.

"_Roy_ Mustang? Riza always…" I zoned out again, hearing the pain in my voice as I said her name. _How do these _boys_ know Mustang?_

_ And all __the__ wounds that are ever gonna scar me_

_ For all __the__ ghosts that are never gonna catch me…_

Ed's aurulent eyes were sympathetic. "My name's Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." My head snapped up, my eyes falling to his waist, finally noticing the silver chain, undoubtedly from his State Alchemist pocket watch. _No…he couldn't be! _That's_the__ Fullmetal Alchemist?!? He saved my town! _I cringed as I thought of Xenotime, my "home" town.

"And I'm Alphonse Elric." the boy in armor woke me from my thoughts. "How long have you been here?"

I looked down at myself, grimacing at my stained shirt, wrinkled pants, and travel-worn shoes. I felt the same on the inside. "It seems like years." I whispered.

"So that was _you_ singing…" the other boy, who was sitting on the ground where he fell, forgotten, said in a hushed voice. He seemed to be talking to himself, but was staring directly at me with intense, almost-black eyes. They were like a chasm, and looked as if they held some hidden pain or insight. They bared into mine and held, and for awhile I was incapable of speech.

Finally I could look away. Flushing, I stood and said, "Of course I know who you two are. You're famous- or infamous, depending on who you're talking to. I'm Tsukiko, and Riza was…" my voice cracked, and I looked away, blinking away new tears that threatened to swell up. "Well, that's not important. I knew her well. What's your name?" this was directed at the obsidian-eyed boy.

"Oh…Daniel." he answered, speaking as if he was waking from a daydream or from deep thought. We locked eyes again, but this time only for a few tense seconds.

I laughed half-heartedly, almost heartlessly, and whispered harshly, "That was our best friend's name." my half smile fell. "He died in Ishbal."

Looking up, I saw Ed's eyes harden as he looked into an unknown distance. Alphonse put a comforting hand on Ed's shoulder and whispered, "We can't save them all, brother."

I turned to look at Daniel, who's eyes now hid sympathy and a deep-rooted sorrow. He looked at me inquisitively. "Our?" he asked.

"Oh. Riza and I's." Our discussion fell into an awkward silence, and I took the time to say one final prayer. "Now I really must be going-oh." Realizing that I had no safe place to go, I sighed and started walking awkwardly back in the direction of Xenotime. I had walked all the way there, and now it was time to start the long trek back.

_Ever get __the__ feeling that you're never _

_ All alone and I remember now_

_ At __the__ top of my lungs in my arms she dies_

_ She dies…._

I walked haltingly through the dense, dark forest, crashing through thorns and bumping into what seemed like every tree. I felt drunk, my head was spinning and my feet were heavy. I came to an unfamiliar river, one that I had not passed on the way to East City. I flopped onto the ground with a sigh and rubbed my now-skinned knees. I looked inside me- something felt dead. What, and who, I used to be…was gone. Groaning as I stood, I began to scavenge the bank of the river, looking for a shallow and still place I could swim or walk across. Then I heard something rustling behind me. The hairs on my neck stood on end- something besides a fox was watching me, following me. I crouched behind a bush, drawing my stolen switchblade from my heel.

"Tsukiko?" I heard faintly, then louder, "Tsukiko?" It was the boy with never-ending eyes….Daniel…calling for me. Confused, I put my knife back and stood.

"I'm here, Daniel." I called. A moment later his face appeared, the worry contorting it turning to relief. "Why did you follow me?"

He ignored the question. "You don't have a place to stay, do you?" he said, concern evident in his voice. That fact confused me more- what was I worth to him, a stranger that he met _sleeping in a graveyard_?

"No…" I slowly said. "Not really. I live in an orphanage in Xenotime. I walked here when I got the news…I was too late for the funeral. But don't worry about me, there's no reason to…"

"You're shaking," he said, coming closer, "You haven't eaten or slept in days, I can tell. Just come with me and-"

"No. Thank you." I said abruptly. "You don't want me. I'm nothing to you, to anyone." I spoke with finality, turning to walk away, to find a way around the river. But what was keeping me standing where I was? What had been blocking my path all through life? Endless pain. Continuing dread. Tears started to roll down my cheeks again, and I finally started to run away, but Daniel grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Tsukiko…" There was a softness to the way he said my name. I had never heard my name said like that before. Everywhere I went people just treated me like I was worthless, but…

I looked up into his face, tears still quietly falling. The same softness in his voice was in his eyes…his hypnotizing eyes. He wiped away a tear with his spare hand. "Okay." I said weakly. An overwhelming urge came over me, and I hugged Daniel around the shoulders. He stiffened in surprise, then loosened and gently put his hands on my back. "And thank you." I looked at him, half smiling.

"For what?" he replied, then gasped and tightened his grip around me as I blacked out.

_ At __the__ end of __the__ world_

_ Or __the__ last thing I see_

_ You are_

_ Never coming home_

_ Never coming home…_

End of Chapter One: The Graveyard

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I promise my later chapters won't be _as_ depressing.

-moonbabytsukiko


	2. Chapter 2

After the Light: Chapter Two: Dreams

By Tsukiko

I promised this chapter wouldn't be as depressing, but I didn't live up to it. Whoops. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (sighhh) or "Taking Over Me" by Evanscence, but I do own Ms. Haruko. She's my whore. And yes, I changed the geography…a lot.

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_You don't remember me but I remember you_

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

_But who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do…_

Images flashed through my clouded mind, blurring the boundary between fantasy and real life: The owner of the orphanage, who treated me like a pile of mud- Ms. Haruko- yelling at me for sneaking out again. A young Riza, with tears running down her face, clutching a skinned knee. The clearing in the forest where we used to play soldier or princess, depending on our mood. My only book- a collection of Charles Dickens' stories- being set on fire by Ms. Haruko's cigarette. My puppy being smashed against a wall by another child, abandoned by his parents like all the other orphans. Riza holding my puppy's mangled, limp body in her arms, gently rocking and sobbing. My puppy, dug from the ground, being stir-fried for dinner, which Ms. Haruko then forced me to eat. Then even older images- ones I didn't remember but somehow recognized- swept through my tortured subconscious: The room I slept in as a baby- it was blue and had bunny wallpaper running around the top of the walls. The dress my mother wore one Easter as she planted flowers in our garden. My brother's sleeping face…

The images scared me, brought back from being hidden for so long by pain and confusion. Each one brought another wave of unwanted memories, taking me closer and closer to some unknown darkness. Then another, more recent, image seemed to banish this pain, the shadows, from my mind, brushing them aside like a stray hair. It was Daniel's deep, intense, eyes. His sympathetic, inquisitive…beautiful eyes. They hid a secret meaning, something I couldn't quite grasp…they sent a thrill and a warmth through me, sending shivers down my spine as they warmed my cheeks. Something I hadn't felt since…

_I believe in you_

_I'd give up anything just to find you_

_I have to be with you- to live, to breathe_

_You're taking over me…_

I gasped and opened my eyes. Blinding light from a nearby open window caused spots to color my vision. I looked down at myself. Someone- I was hoping a girl- had given me new clothes and tightly wrapped a bandage around my torso. That's right- a mule kicked me during my hasty leave of Xenotime, and probably broke a rib, maybe more. I then looked around me- I was in a light yellow room with dark wood furniture and a simple picture of hydrangeas hanging beside the door. White lace curtains swayed in the cold wind coming through a crack in the window. Despite this, I felt like I was melting inside. I had a strange feeling of _de ja vu_ as well; something was very familiar about this room. I shook this feeling aside and turned my head on the pillow, trying to find a cooler place to rest. As I looked to the side, I saw a glass of water above the poof of the pillow. Upon further inspection, I also saw two pills and a note on the nightstand that the items were placed on. I sat up to read the note, head spinning, and leaned against the nightstand for support. It read:

_Tsukiko-_

_ We're going to find a doctor for you. Take these pills, and if you're strong enough to walk and eat, get some bread from the kitchen down the hallway._

_-Edward_

Grunting, I gulped down the pills with the water, which burned down my throat. _Well, crap. _I thought. _That's not supposed to happen_. My head began to spin again, so I flopped down onto the soft pillow. I _didn't_ have enough strength to walk, but my stomach felt like it was eating itself. Daniel was right in his assumption- I hadn't had time to steal any food or water from Ms. Haruko along with the knife before I ran away, so I had gone without since then. How long had that been? I counted in my head…Was it a week? I guess that depended on how long I had been asleep. I laughed dryly. It would've shown Ms. Haruko, that old witch, and all the other jerks at the orphanage had I milked them for all they had.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up quickly, hoping that would dull the spinning. Wrong. My head, and the room, spun out of control and I fell hard onto the hardwood floor with a _thump_. _This place seems pretty high-scale… couldn't they have bought some rugs?!?_ I moaned. As I stood up, I could almost _hear _my broken bones creaking. Why hadn't I noticed that they were broken before? Damn donkey. I suppose I was too blinded by sadness, along with the emotional rush I felt while I was fleeing the city, leaving it behind forever, going beyond the city limits for the first time in my life. I had gone into the woods and to the creek before on my excursions with Riza, of course, but never had I left Xenotime, for fear of Ms. Haruko's wrath. I limped stiffly to the door and down the hallway (which seemed all the longer thanks to my broken ribs), all the while looking around me. The paint scheme, the artwork, the molding, it all seemed so familiar. After several long minutes of painful walking, I reached the kitchen, plopping onto the first stool I saw. I grabbed the loaf of bread on the island, tearing off a piece and wolfing it down hungrily, washing it down with another glass of water. I had sat on the stool for a few minutes, dreading having to get up and go to the bedroom again, when my stomach began to turn. I had a sense of foreboding, and quickly stood up and grabbed the edge of the sink. I wretched the contents of my stomach, then fell limply to the floor.

_Damnit_, I thought as my vision began to cloud, my head thumping hard against the ground. My vision darkened once more and I fainted.

A face with golden hair and eyes greeted me as my vision swiveled into focus, long bands obscuring the face. "Oh…an angel…end my misery, please. Take me away…" I whispered, dazed.

"Don't talk like that. You're not dead yet." There was a sad, hard edge to Edward's voice, as if he was speaking past a lump in his throat, trying not to cry.

"Darn." I sighed, nonchalant. "What happened?"

"You fell on the floor, adding a nice bump to your head." Edward answered, all traces of sadness gone, poking my forehead harshly.

"_Ow_. I can feel _that_. I mean: how'd I get here, why are you helping me and where is _here, _anyway? Stuff like that. The basic I-just-regained-consciousness questions." I said between clenched teeth, trying to keep my headache at bay. It wasn't working.

Alphonse answered me bluntly, and in annoyance, "In order: we carried you; we couldn't just _leave you in the forest_, unconscious; and we're at a…friends house"

"Well, thanks." The image of Daniel's inky eyes once again flashed in my mind. I looked away, embarrassed by my thoughts. "Where is…Daniel?" I asked quietly.

"He's still looking for a doctor. There are a surprisingly low number of them in East City-what?"

I started upright, realizing where I had seen this room before. "Crap! you brought me _into_ East City?!? Why do you think I was sleeping in a graveyard _outside _the city limits?! I have to get out of here!" I stuggled to get up, twisting and turning to get out of Alphonse and Edward's sudden grip on my wrists and ankles.

Edward finally won over, my strength failing, and yelled "And just _where_ do you think you're going? You're in no condition to travel, let alone to go running around the city like a chicken with it's head cut off! What's wrong, anyway?"

I glared at him until he released his grip on me, panting from the effort it had taken me to struggle. "Does your 'friend' know that I'm here?"

"No…she's out of town. We kind of picked the lock…we couldn't bring you into the military lodgings in the state that your in; they'd ask all sorts of questions. And the fact that we only know your first name, it was the middle of the night, and that you were unconscious didn't help."

I breathed. "Good, but I better be out of here before she comes…" I gasped and closed my eyes, a ominous feeling washing over me.

"Tsukiko? Tsukiko!" Edward yelled. "Not again! Al, help me! Hold her down!"

I was thrashing, racked with pain. Tremors starting from the base of my spine and my shoulder blades went up and down my legs and arms. Sweat broke out all over my skin, running down my neck, wetting my hair. I screamed as another rack of shocks went down my body, feeling like I was being set fire and that my limbs were being ripped out of their sockets at the same time. The world around me fuzzed again, twisting everything out of proportion and sending me into a wicked dream world. Before I was sent back into my marred consciousness, I heard running steps and Daniel's voice yelling my name. The last thing I saw was his eyes, their beauty transformed by pain, his pain….but what was he pained by? I managed to choke out "What's happening to me?" before I was sent into the abyss of my mind once more.

_I look in the mirror and see your face_

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside that are just like you_

_You're taking over…_

End of Chapter Two

I hope you enjoyed it, as dreadfully happy as it was. Didn't that just make you shiver with joy? I'll add more Fullmetal-ly details later on in the series.

-tsukikomoonbaby


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